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Discoveries and Inventions by Men And Women

Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,

Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.


Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,

Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.


Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,

Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.


Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,

Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.


Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,

Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.


Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,

Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.


Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things...

While Women STUCK to shopping.


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An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.

He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"

The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.

"Can you see the river?"


"Can you see the bridge over it?"

"Of course", said the minister.

"10 percent", said the senator smugly.

Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house,the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.

"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees," he asked.

The minister called him to the window.

"See the river over there?"

"Sure", cried the senator.

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said, "No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent", said the minister !!



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A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward.

A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening.

A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road.

He is refusing to move from there!"

"But why?"

"He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines!

He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didn`t contribute with money to help him pay the fine!"

"So how much has been collected so far?"

"Six litres!"


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Three dead bodies of Indian politicians turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The medical examiner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.

"He was a BJP leader, 65 years of age, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the medical examiner.

The Detective Inspector is taken to the second dead man.

"He was a minister from ruling Congress party, was 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Nothing unusual here", thinks the Inspector, and asks to be shown the last body.

"Ah," says the medical examiner. "This is the most unusual one. MP from Bihar, 60, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?` inquires the Inspector.

To which the medical officer replies, "He thought he was having his picture taken."

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Nelson Mandela is at home watching the box, when there is a knock at his door. He gets up and answers it, there is a Chinese bloke with clipboard, and behind him is a lorry full of exhaust pipes.


"You sign, you sign," yells the Chinese.


Nelson looks at the truck and tells the Chinese bloke that he has got the wrong bloke.


Next day Nelson is watching a film when there is a knock on his door. It's the same Chinese bloke and behind him is truck full of brake parts.


"You Sign, You Sign," screams the Chinese bloke and pushes the clipboard under Nelson's nose.


"Look you ****,” snarls Nelson "You've got the wrong bloke. I don't want brake parts, you've got the wrong bloke again."


Next day Nelson is sitting in the chair reading a magazine, when there is a knock on the door. It's the Chinese bloke again, behind him are two trucks filled with engine parts.


The Chinese bloke screams at Nelson, "You sign, you sign."


Well that's it Nelson loses his wig and picks the Chinese bloke up by his shirt and yells, "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who do you want to give these to?"


The Chinese bloke looks at his clipboard and says, "You not Nissan Maindealer?"


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The Pakistani President, Gen Pervez Musharraf, is visiting his friend, U.S. President George Bush, in Washington, DC.


The U.S. President offers a gift to his guest. "Here you go, Mush" says Bush. "Try out this shiny new Cadillac. It's their finest model."


"Thank you, Mr. President, but I cannot accept this magnificent gift," replies the Musharraf.


"Oh. I understand about gift limits. I understand the problems you are having in Pakistan with your non-profit associations. Ok then ... give me a half dollar for it. Then it won't be a gift," replies Bush. Musharraf gives Bush a dollar.


"I don't have any change ... too bad," says the President.


"No big deal... you'll just give me two Cadillacs" retorts Musharraf.

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A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer.

Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that her radio was not working, and they must replace it since she only had one radio station. The salesman calmed her down and told her that her car radio was voice-activated, and that she would only need to state aloud the type of music that she wanted and the car would find it.

She got into the car and started the engine and then said the word "country," and the radio changed to a station playing a George Strait song. She was satisfied and started home. After a while she decided to try out the radio and said "rock `n` roll;" the radio station changed and a song by the Rolling Stones came from the speakers. Quite pleased, the woman continued driving.

A few blocks from her house, another driver ran a light causing her to slam on her brakes to avoid a collision.

The woman angrily exclaimed, "******!" ...The radio cut over to George Bush`s press conference.


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After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.


Guess the caption!!


Laloo, third from left!


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George W Bush wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality.

The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamps were not sticking properly, and become furious.

He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter.

The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Bush.

He said, "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"


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Golfing Preist

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes.


The second guy says, "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?"


The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't like to bet, but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.


The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money.


The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."


The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"


The Priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them for you."




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