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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

 

The man, who was a priest, said. "I am a Father."

The little boy replied. "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.

"The priest looked up from his book and answered.

"I am the Father of many."

 

The boy said. "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way! The priest, getting impatient, said.

"I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said.

 

"Maybe you should wear a condom and your pants backwards instead of your collar."

:D :D :D

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PREETO: Jab tum desi sharab pite ho to mujhe paro kehto ho jab whisky pete ho to darling kehte ho. Aaj kiya pia hia jo churail keh rahe ho?

SANTA: Aaj main hosh main hoon!

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[Joke] Fireman Sex ..................

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at

the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,

BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

 

'From now on when I say BELL 1' I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2 I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3 We are going to make love all night. ' The next night he came home from work and yelled

' BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

 

When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled 'BELL 3!', they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!' 'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?

 

'ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied

'YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.'

 

 

____________________________________________________________________

campaign execution

sexy lingerie

 

 

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:o :o :P :P :D :D

 

[Joke] Fireman Sex ..................

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at

the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,

BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

 

'From now on when I say BELL 1' I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2 I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3 We are going to make love all night. ' The next night he came home from work and yelled

' BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

 

When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled 'BELL 3!', they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!' 'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?

 

'ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied

'YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.'

 

 

____________________________________________________________________

campaign execution

sexy lingerie

:D :D :D:P :P :P:D :D :P :P

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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

 

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

 

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

 

She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

 

She went completely ballistic. " how could you do this to me," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

 

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

"I'll explain about the toy, if you explain about the kids."

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A woman, who had been married twice and divorced twice, was fed up.

 

Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her, so she put an ad in the classifieds: Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is good in bed.

 

About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms and legs on her front porch.

 

"I'm here about your ad," he says. "You must be mistaken," she says. "Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms. And I can't run away because I don't have any legs." "But," she asks, "How do I know you're good in bed?"

 

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" he replied.

 

 

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Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "but this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid!

 

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too".

 

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have sex on T.V." He called me a show-off.

 

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said "Me too."

 

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I am looking for Sex."

 

My case comes up Friday.

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I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks

ago.

While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner,

enjoying a drink.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle,

but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft

chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would

do me a favor." "Yes?"

"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm

waiting for a very important client.

Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say

"Hi GNOME?"

"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up.

We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It Was Bill Gates. "Hi, GNOME," he said.

I replied, "Shut up, Bill, Can't you see I'm in a meeting?"

 

:D :D :D

 

 

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A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50."

 

The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn to use our teeth."

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