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Everything posted by palxeno

  1. Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine". Sardar thinks "how poetic" Sardar says, "pass the custard you *******". ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Sardar at bar in New York . Man on his right says "Johny Walker single" Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married" ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ? how much is DRIVING salary...? ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!! ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** 2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks. He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks. He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.. .... ........ "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it be comes deaf......" ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??" Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!" ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** 2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy. Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry num be r is also written...BC 1760!!!.... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective. Interviewer : who killed Gandhi? Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ..... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR. ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Interviewar: what s ur qualification? Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d. Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d? Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .. ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows? Sardar : liquid state..... Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks be hind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... .. Santa: today I made a fool of water? Banta: how did you do that? Santa: I heated some water for a bath and bathed with cold water -------- Santa: My wife is still scared of water Banta: how come? Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!! ---------- Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle. Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr. ----------- banta: you cheated me. shopkeeper: no, i sold a good radio to you. banta: radio label shows made in japan but radio says this is all india radio! ----------- nurse: congrats santa, you are a father. santa: don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her! ------------ Everybody was angry with the hike in petrol prices Santa: Sir, why are you so angry? Sir: The petrol price is increasing day-by-day, this is not fair. Santaji, you don't look worried? Santa: Why should i worry. For me it is the same price. Sir: how come? Santa: Earlier also i filled for Rs 100 now also i fill for rs 100! Sir: ???????????
  2. A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: ------------------------------------------------------------ To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Reached Date: 16 May 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW! Bye. keep sending replies......................sorry that's me...haaaaaaaaaaaahaa lol
  3. I am waiting for ur experiment result shyamprad ji.. good luck !
  4. Element: Woman Symbol: WO Discoverer: Adam Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs. Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas. Physical Properties: 1) Surface usually covered in a painted film. 2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. 3) Melts if given proper treatment. 4) Bitter if used incorrectly. 5) Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore. Chemical Properties: 1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals. 2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances. 3) May explode spontaneously if left with a MALE. 4) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol. 5) Yields to pressure applied to correct points. Uses: 1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars. 2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man. 3) Can be a great aid in relaxation. Tests: 1) Pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state. 2) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen. Caution: 1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. 2) Illegal to possess more than one except in certain areas.
  5. Element: Woman Symbol: WO Discoverer: Adam Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs. Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas. Physical Properties: 1) Surface usually covered in a painted film. 2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. 3) Melts if given proper treatment. 4) Bitter if used incorrectly. 5) Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore. Chemical Properties: 1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals. 2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances. 3) May explode spontaneously if left with a MALE. 4) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol. 5) Yields to pressure applied to correct points. Uses: 1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars. 2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man. 3) Can be a great aid in relaxation. Tests: 1) Pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state. 2) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen. Caution: 1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. 2) Illegal to possess more than one except in certain areas.
  6. I think prashant ji raises the right point here and WNSO should take it very seriously and learn the lession from this and resolve the issu with deplomatically from the managment level. thanks for sending this post.
  7. Before marriage.... He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: No! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! Over and over! She: Have you ever cheated on me? He: No! Why are you even asking? She: Will you kiss me? He: Every chance I get. She: Will you hit me? He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person! She: Can I trust you? He: Yes. She: Darling! After marriage.... Simply read from bottom to top.
  8. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. _____ To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy. _____ The road to success??.. Is always under construction. _____ Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. _____ In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. _____ All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening. _____ Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. _____ Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works. _____ If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. _____ You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. _____ Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner. _____ ***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. ***** _____ As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens. _____ He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule. _____ If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late. _____ Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate. _____ When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions. _____ If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls. _____ Especially for engg. Students---- If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance. _____ You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming. _____ The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom. _____ After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other. _____ If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight. _____ Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
  9. we are proud of u dude. Gre8 Job keep it up...From the bottom of my heart i would say excellent wording combination, i liked pretty much. just touched my heart nothing i can say. hopping you will add some more line for us. thank you.
  10. Thanks for your remarkable advice which increases my potential times two. i really appreciate the way you tryed to explained the senario. i am glad that we have pals like you in WNSO. thanks so much once again.
  11. Hey guys, i need help to take very important decision of my life. From next month i am thinking to study MBBS In UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY CHITTAGONG (USTC)Foy's Lake, Chittagong - 4202,Bangladesh. And really confused about study in Bagladesh so through this post i am expecting to slove my queries which is pissing me off everytime - about the degree standard of this university, quality of education, value of money spending on self finance, scope AFTER finishing and getting the job in Nepal. Please share your experiences and suggestions which are valuable for me.......your small help will make big difference to my future. and plz pray for me and wish me good luck. thank you.
  12. ound this on some site, thought it might some in handy Wink 1.Type “about:config” into the address bar and hit Enter. Scroll down and look for the following entries: network.http.pipelining network http.proxy.pipelining network http.pipelining.maxrequests Normally the browser will make one request to a web page at a time. When you enable pipelining it will make several at once, which really speeds up page loading. 2. Alter the entries as follows: Set “network.http.pipelining” to “true” Set “network.http.proxy.pipelining” to “true” Set “network.http.pipelining.maxrequests” to some number like 30. This means it will make 30 requests at once. 3. Lastly right-click anywhere and select New-> Integer. Name it “nglayout.initialpaint.delay” and set its value to “0”. This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it receives. This can make your mozilla load much faster than before about 3-30 times faster
  13. Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills." -Life-changing advice given to Jim Rohn by his mentor Earl Shoaff Challenges are an inevitable part in this life of growth and development. Realize that what you consider to be a challenge only seems insurmountable because you haven't yet developed yourself to that level where you can overcome it. Many people have been confronted with the same challenges in their life and they have grown through it. Life is an opportunity for us to grow, learn, and become more than we currently are. There will never be an end to challenges and that is good news! As long as there are challenges there are things to learn. Instead of sitting in a classroom, you are learning through the experiences of life. Each experience that you go through will transform you, if you allow it to. Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Steve Jobs and every other person who has achieved greatness in their lives have done so through this very process. They worked through and grew through their challenges. They never gave up or shied away from what life was giving them. They have all gone through powerful challenges which all of us would have equated with failure. They have all grown through these challenges and have come through the other side stronger than they were before. When challenges were confronting them, instead of running away, they confronted them head on. They dug deep within themselves to bring out creative solutions to these challenges. Each challenge that they overcame only made them stronger and more confident until they reached a point where they were not afraid of any challenges. When a new challenge confronts them, they immediately tap into their creative genius (which is already within everyone) to provide a solution to these challenges. All of us have this capacity within us. All of us can come out stronger from challenges. It is all about who we become and these challenges are the fires that purify the gold of our character to enable us to create glorious lives for ourselves and the people around us.
  14. Getting a fresh start with the New Year is an artificial custom - you can begin to get the life you love and live it at any time you choose. But let the first of January 2008 be the starting point for a new you. Envision yourself at the end of the year and describe at least 3 achievements you would like to have achieved to make you feel that 2008 had been a successful one. Get motivated right now to make the most of 2008 and indeed the rest of your life. Believe in yourself. Know that you can do and have anything you want. Ooze with self belief and others too will believe in you. Go all out for it in 2008! Here are some tips to help you achieve your goals and to make 2008 your best year ever. 1. Spend some quality time on your own and reflect on your goals in all areas of your life - short, medium and long term. Write these down - you increase your chances of materialising them, once written down. Be very specific, and as descriptive as you can. 2. Write down your three main goals in big bold letters and hang up next to your bedside, in the kitchen, by your pc etc. Having them visible like this keeps in the forefront of your mind exactly what you need to achieve by when, and what you must do to make it happen. 3. Identify quickly the key steps in the first three months of 2008 to move you towards your goals. Make the steps realistic for the time frame, but ones that stretch you at the same time. Track your progress on a regular basis, maybe on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. 4. Create an action plan and take regular action. Start today and if possible, start right away. Take that first step - you will immediately generate a lot of enthusiasm & confidence in this and other areas of your life. Do not wait around to be inspired - just get on with doing things, even if it is a small step and that will lead to further steps. 5. Look at your life in a new way. For example, plan to make all the money you need in 2008 within the first six months. Develop a new theme for the year such as making it "debt free" or "most chilled out ever". At the same time, ensure you give yourself enough nurturing time - book your holidays right now and plan to spend quality weekends with your loved ones. 6. Let go of things that drain you. Look at those situations, places, people or anything else that drain your energy, and eliminate them gradually. 7. Establish a support team around you. Make yourself accountable to someone who resonates with your goals and will support you in achieving them. Find like minded people - and develop powerful, supportive and energising relationships. This may require you to upgrade your friends and build new relationships. 8. Learn from your role models. Emulate those who have already achieved what you are aspiring to. Apply their lessons and principles to yourself, and thereby fast track your achievements in 2008. 9. Spruce up your image. Look at everything about you such as your clothes, haircut and other things about your personal brand. Start giving the impression of being successful and you will be during the course of 2008. 10. Keep your cool and chill out. You may get overwhelmed at times and find that there is just not sufficient time for everything. Review your commitments and priorities and refocus on the most important steps. 11. Celebrate your successes. Acknowledge yourself and know that you are doing really well. Reward and pamper yourself. Choose to celebrate in the best way for you. 12. Find ways to excel and to improve yourself. There are numerous self help resources around you such as books, magazines, websites and so on. Make 2008 the year that you evolve, grow and fulfill your potential. Thats what i am committing myself for this year...Are u ? Good luck and very happy new year to all.
  15. "When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine. When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that. Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! So try to hunt for the right person. Let me take this opertinuty to extend my worm wishes for MERRY CHRISTMAS AND VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR to all pals. Have fun and live life King size always. Good Luck to everybody !. Cheers
  16. How To Be Happy In 18 steps: 1. Pursue Achievable Goals 2. Keep Genuine Smiles 3. Share with Others 4. Help Thy Neighbors 5. Maintain A Youthful Spirit 6. Get Along with the Rich, the Poor, the Beautiful, &the Ugly 7. Keep Cool Under Pressure 8. Lighten the Atmosphere with Humor 9. Forgive the Annoyance of Others 10. Have a Few Pals 11. Cooperate and Reap Greater Rewards 12. Treasure Every Moment with Your Love Ones 13. Have High Confidence in Yourself 14. Respect the Disadvantaged 15. Indulge Yourself Occasionally 16. Surf the Net at Leisure 17. Take Calculated Risks 18. Understand "Money Isn't Everything" Any more You can add...Must welcome.
  17. Thanks for interest dipesh ji ... plz follow this link http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6069478.stm
  18. Blu-ray Disc Blu-ray, also known as Blu-ray Disc (BD), is the name of a next-generation optical disc format jointly developed by the Blu-ray Disc Association (BDA), a group of the world's leading consumer electronics, personal computer and media manufacturers (including Apple, Dell, Hitachi, HP, JVC, LG, Mitsubishi, Panasonic, Pioneer, Philips, Samsung, Sharp, Sony, TDK and Thomson). The format was developed to enable recording, rewriting and playback of high-definition video (HD), as well as storing large amounts of data. The format offers more than five times the storage capacity of traditional DVDs and can hold up to 25GB on a single-layer disc and 50GB on a dual-layer disc. This extra capacity combined with the use of advanced video and audio codecs will offer consumers an unprecedented HD experience. While current optical disc technologies such as DVD, DVD±R, DVD±RW, and DVD-RAM rely on a red laser to read and write data, the new format uses a blue-violet laser instead, hence the name Blu-ray. Despite the different type of lasers used, Blu-ray products can easily be made backwards compatible with CDs and DVDs through the use of a BD/DVD/CD compatible optical pickup unit. The benefit of using a blue-violet laser (405nm) is that it has a shorter wavelength than a red laser (650nm), which makes it possible to focus the laser spot with even greater precision. This allows data to be packed more tightly and stored in less space, so it's possible to fit more data on the disc even though it's the same size as a CD/DVD. This together with the change of numerical aperture to 0.85 is what enables Blu-ray Discs to hold 25GB/50GB. Blu-ray is currently supported by more than 180 of the world's leading consumer electronics, personal computer, recording media, video game and music companies. The format also has broad support from the major movie studios as a successor to today's DVD format. In fact, seven of the eight major movie studios (Disney, Fox, Warner, Paramount, Sony, Lionsgate and MGM) have released movies in the Blu-ray format and five of them (Disney, Fox, Sony, Lionsgate and MGM) are releasing their movies exclusively in the Blu-ray format. Many studios have also announced that they will begin releasing new feature films on Blu-ray Disc day-and-date with DVD, as well as a continuous slate of catalog titles every month. For more information about Blu-ray movies, check out our Blu-ray movies section which offers information about new and upcoming Blu-ray releases, as well as what movies are currently available in the Blu-ray format. Source :http://www.blu-ray.com/info/ wish very Happy X-mass in advance to all pals....and have Blu- Ray Xmass Fun. Cheers.........
  19. Cool dude Great job, and honetly i enjoyed ur this song so much that cost me to download it to my ipod Keep it up....hope u will upload some more vedios in future as well. thanks cheers.
  20. Welldone dude! gre8 job. After long time i saw a usefull post. keep it up, and wish them all best of luck who are willing to apply for this session. Good luck Nepal. Thanks again.
  21. A Bihari was working in Mumbai & did not meet his wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna. At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son. His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this 'Happy event' happened when he had not seen his wife for four years... The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away. The colleagues asked him, 'What name will you give to the son?' The man explained, 'If it is the first neighbour that had taken care, the name would be ' PRATHAM '; If its the second neighbour,then it would be ' DWIVEDI'; If it is the third neighbour then it would be ' TRIVEDI', If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be ' CHATURVEDI'; If its the fifth neighbour then it would be ' PANDEY'... After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture of neighbours? 'Then the boy would be named ' MISHRA '... And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? Then it would be 'SHARMA '.... But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? Then the name of the child would be ' GUPTA'... If she does not remember the name then? 'It is YAAD-AV' But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? Then it will be named 'DOSHI '... Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire? Then he will be named ' JOSHI'... And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?.... ' DESHPANDEY.' lol
  22. hey guys all in one..msnger on one web site. www.meebo.com U Dont need to download msngrs . Just click it and Get all. Have a Good one.
  23. THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you because I was pissed. I thought that I could love no other -- that is until I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so ! are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ... Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "Go to hell. PLZ don't shy to leave your comments.....
  24. wish u very happy dipawali to all. Let's cheer up ! for a while..............Plz click on this link and read carefully...http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf cheers!!!
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