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About Sirupate

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  1. Sirupate

    Few Jokes for you

    Lalupate: 'I've been ringing 08001730 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. Lalupate: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'. Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
  2. Sirupate

    Few Jokes for you

    School 1960 vs. School 2008 Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates. 2008 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites. --------------------------------------- Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students. 1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school. --------------------------------------- Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper. 1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion. --------------------------------------- Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school . 1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area. 2008 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons. --------------------------------------- Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English. 1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college. 2008 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. --------------------------------------- Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill. 1960 - Ants die. 2008 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpertrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. ----------------------------------------- Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him. 1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing. 2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.
  3. Please Vote Prakiti Giri for CHHOTE USTAAD Visit here to find out more http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/openthread...;threadid=54873 Vote :- http://www.indya.com/chhoteustaad/vote.asp
  4. Makar told his friend : I just finished a puzzle and it only took me five months. Attariyalese : Five months? That seems like an awfully long time to do a puzzle. Makar :- Not at all, the box says 6 to 12 years.
  5. Lalupate's first wife : why you have to marry again? what I have not done for you and your family? I looked after your parents like my own parents. I helped your sista/biradar. I did everything you said. I left no stone unturned but why you did this to me? Lalupate : Darling I know you always do everything by yourself. You must be tired. I thought why not marry and bring second wife home so she can help you. I did all this for you
  6. Sirupate

    Is this a joke?

    Now when you visit chautari you see "First of all, special welcome to our visitors from United Kingdom. Do you know how many Nepalese students are studying in United Kingdom? Let us know." Why SPECIAL Welcome to visitors from UK only? Anyway may be 5-10% are studying and 90-95 % are not, does this answer your question?
  7. Sirupate

    Few Jokes for you

    Lalupate was focusing his camera on a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him. Why? He said: “Smile Please !”
  8. Sirupate

    Few Jokes for you

    Makadhoj took a photocopy and was looking at both pages again and again, why? Because he was comapring spelling mistakes with the original one.
  9. Sirupate

    Few Jokes for you

    Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? A. Pull the pin and throw it back. --------------- Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
  10. Once Lalupate had to learn two essays for the exam. One is about friend and the other is about father. He had studied only about friend. But in the exam the essay asked was about father. He thought for a while and replaced father with friend in the essay and it read: "I am a very fatherly person, I have lots of fathers, My best father is my neighbor." He ended the essay as, "A father in need is a father in deed....!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Makardhoj wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another but he could not do it because this is how he did it 1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option. 2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC. 3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file. 4) Right clicked the mouse and tried to PASTE. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lalupate wanted to water the plants but he was looking for an umbrella, you know why? Because it was raining. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the chemical formula 4 water? Makardhoj quickly replied :- HIJKLMNO
  11. How Lalupate translated Hindi to English ? In Hindi : Dhobhi ghat In English: Wash-ington In Hindi: Khushi ke maare mera seena phul gaya In English: Out of happiness my chest turned into breast
  12. PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho? MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai. MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao. MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai? MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur who char mahinay mein bolne lagay Ga MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, TU kitna pada hai? MAMU : B.A. MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur who bhi ulta? PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500. MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu Lalupate : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai. Makardhoj : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
  13. MUNNA BHAI-E circut bapu bole to gandhi ji kapre kyoin nahi pehnte the? CIRCUT- bhai bole to bapu bhi us time ke salman khan the!! Circuit & Mamu CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya? MAMU : Nehin. CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega. Lalupate:: Makardhoj ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi Makardhoj :: kya baat kartay ho Lalu sab check kar kay laya hoooon Lalupate : Makardhoj aapko logo ne kyun mara ? Makardhoj : yaar meri photo bus main gir gayi to maine Madam se kaha zara sadi upar karo photo lena hai. aur maro Makar biradar ko
  14. Please remove that music, it is really really annoying. If you visit next page it stops and starts playing again. What could be more annoying than this? Admin biradar, do you turn off your speakers before you visit chautari ?
  15. MUSIC is really really annoying. Please remove it.
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