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elianna

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About elianna

  • Rank
    Newbie

Previous Fields

  • First Name:
    Irena
  • Surname:
    Brantman
  • High School:
    RAI
  • Village/Town:
    Riga
  • District:
    Riga
  • Current University/College:
    RAI
  • Subject:
    financier
  • Town/City:
    Riga
  • Place of Birth:
    Latvia
  • Web site:
    http://reseller.name
  • Gender:
    Male
  1. A sales rep from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing he whispers, "Your Eminence, we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread….' to 'give us this day our daily chicken….' then we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church". The Pope responds saying, "That is impossible. The prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed." "Well," says the Tyson man, "we are prepared to donate $1 billion to the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread….' to 'give us this day our daily chicken…." Again the Pope replies "That is impossible. The prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed." Finally, the Tyson guy says, "This is our last offer. We will donate $5 billion to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread….' to 'give us this day our daily chicken….'" and he leaves. The next day the Pope meets with the College of Cardinals to say that he has good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the Church has come into $5 billion." "The bad news is that we are losing The Wonderbread Account!". ___________________ http://reseller.name
  2. There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut some wood and build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up. She spent all day chopping, hauling and stacking wood. Subsequently, she wound up shredding the sleeves of her habit. Later that night, as the other nuns came into the rectory, they were delighted to find the place warm and cozy, with a big fire roaring in the fireplace. Then Mother Superior comes in and yells, "Sister Mary! Go fix your torn habit this instant!" Sister Mary, crying, asks, "But Mother Superior, aren't you happy that the abbey is warm?" To which the Mother Superior replies, "Yes, but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve." __________________ http://reseller.name
  3. elianna

    Superball Fever

    Superball Fever A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?" The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?" "No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral." ______________________ http://reseller.name
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