A Salute to a Great Educator
Today i kind of feel like telling u abt this teacher whom i had known...
When I was in primary school,
we had a substitute teacher.
This woman (God rest her soul) was a battle axe.
4 some reason I could sense that she hated me.
Come 2 think of it,
I think she hated all of the children.
2 top it off her name was Mrs. Hoon..
Can't think of a less poetic name?
Maybe "Mrs. Deathstain" was taken.
Once we were painting tissue boxes 4some insane project
n Mrs. Hoon did not like the content or speed of my work.
She ripped the tissue box from my hands
n proceeded 2 slop paint on it in a slapdash fashion
while spewing nasty comments at me
n breathing too hard.
I still bear the scars n
u can see the angst in my occasional horrible artwork postings.
OK, maybe she's not 2 blame 4 my horrible drawings
but hey, it works on some level.
They say that every dog has its day
n I was 2 have mine with Mrs. Hoon.
As a child I hated milk.
On top of that I was an easy puker.
Every afternoon we would have a milk break
n I would barely put a dent in my carton.
Our usual teacher was a kind lady
n never made me finish the hideous little container of evil cow wine.
But Mrs. Hoon was not our usual teacher
n once again we found her gracing us with her kindly teaching methods.
Milk break came around n
I did my usual sip n stall.
She was watching me like a hawk.
A slightly demented evil hawk.
At the end of milk break,
c grabbed my container,
put it on her desk
n told me I would be staying after school.
Fear gripped me like a vice.
After the final bell rang,
c approached my desk,
slammed the warm container of milk in front of me
n commanded me 2 drink.
I started chugging down the vile warm liquid
n felt myself begin 2 retch.
I blew chow mid gulp n it sprayed everywhere
- on the desk and all over the floor.
C had no choice but 2 let me leave
n 2 deal with the hideous mess.
But now i do love drinking milk,
<Just look at my size>
I walked home happy that day.
Here's 2 u, Mrs. Hoon.