My Journal 4 the day....
I have "digged" a journal i had posted sometime back,
4 ur interesting reading.
Hopefully we all stop arguing abt what universities we studied at,
N all the trival things..
At the end of the road it's not everything..
Time n time again,
an idea about a pathway through life assails my train of thought;
such thoughts occur only momentarily majority of the time.
As my vacation progresses however,
its frequency became increasingly higher,
I m currently listening 2 this song "tum se hi" online from the movie "jab we met."
I have this feeling that the singer,Mohit, truely is singing from his heart....
N it really pains me...
i get so emotional these days...hiyahhh...
Perhaps what i'm going through...
It's tough, picking up the pieces in my life...
Quit my work n been sitting ard the house 4 half a month now.
Thankfully i have a wonderful family who r there 4 me.
I have asked this question so many times in my life;
I wanted 2 write a joyous entry 2 this blog but then..
I don't know how i'm gonna write this..
*Tears r flooding my eyes..*
I'm so sensitive when it comes 2 family issues..
It was in the middle of the night when my dad called me
I was taken aback as he had called me earlier in the morning.
Little did I know that,
My bro had met with an accident n had undergone an operation..!
I wish i can be there by his side...
*Praying, as well as rebuking him*
() i think i'm gonna stop
I've been cleaning my room/house n
doing some "freaking"organizing...
b4 I go off 2 cook lunch...
My room is so entirely filled with my life that
I fear if anything is lost,
somehow a part of me is destroyed as well.
*But maybe that's just the incense talking.
I've been burning it since 8 in the morning. **
Work was incredibly slow this morning.
I'm discovering more and more everyday that
there is no magical point of "arrival" in life.
U're constantly gro
Y didn’t some1 say! *ohh someone did*.
It’s Friday the 13th, people !!.
Avoid ladders, salt, mirrors, cats of dark hues
n cracks in the pavement.
If u r reading this from ur house,
GO BACK 2 BED.
4 those who r reading this in bed,
don’t rub it in,
u lazy bugger…
if u want me,
I’ll be hiding under my desk
(I may venture out 4 a cake though, it IS Friday after all…).
It's been quite a while ever since i have posted blog.
Guess i'll just be brief n
type away the thoughts of what had happened in the recent weeks.
All of it seemed so fresh in my mind.
In our "unresolved issues",
We seem 2 have our roots grounded deeply,
N somehow 4 1 or another reason,
they got stuck
n did not finish passing through
which thus clouded the judgment...
Even with some confrontation,
none of us were willingly 2 face what actually happened.
What have i been up 2??
Just the thought of writing all of them down is
kinda of overwhelming me!!
So many ideas, few executed.
So many emotions, few made known.
it's been almost 2 month or so ever since
i've punched on this keyboard.
Yeah, raising a child isn't as easy as it looks..
When Brian turned 11th month(June),
he was in hospital 4 bronrithistics 4 days.
Upon his discharge,
he was talking his 1st steps.(31.07.2007)!!
At 1st, he gave us that cheecky look tha
If every question has an answer..
If every question has an answer or
if every "y" has a reason,
there would be no meaning of survival 4 existence.
If this world is a perfect place n
if the person is a perfect person,
there would be no mistakes n no regrets.
My best wishes 2 every1 who comprehends life as it goes on,
N that includes very much my own self as well.
I have always been myself,
trying 2 be Ms. Optimistic;
it worked sometimes while
the rest of
Ok,the past few days,
I'm physically very tired.
But its been a beautiful day...
With 2 friends dropping by 4 a chat..
Yesterday I was down at my friends' place 2 chill
n made "moom-moos" ,
Although i prefer puri with potatoes 2 "Mom moo"
n in the morning I been busy, cleaning up the house.
So I have a backache now.
It's just that I can't stand a piled up yard or house.
I'm not on welfare or drawing unemployment,
so theres no reason in the w
My Mini World ..
Ok today i'm just gonna do this silly quiz
instead of writing my mundane routine..
What's the story behind your name?
no idea...its my given name..gotta ask my parents
What do you like doing when you're sad?
Eat a lot! Hybernate!
What do you want to name your future child/children?
What makes you nervous?
Presentations or when i'm lying
What makes you cry?
when everything's goin down n nobody seems 2 understa
This 1 here,
is 4 everything I fear.
And this 1 is for the knife I took,
N dragged across my wrist,
when my whole world was shook.
This one is 4,
the pills I take,
that make my body
tremble n shake.
This 1 is for 4,
the drugs I use,
2 take away the pain,
2 help 4get the abuse.
2 mess with my brain,
so I won't think of u.
This 1 is 4,
the things I except,
the things I regret,
ur painful words,
I'll never 4get.
I write on the blank pages of my diary as if it were a story book
n each page is a new chapter of my life.
Many stumble upon the book of my life
n judge it by it's cover.
In my book there are so many unanswered questions,
but i long 2 have answered.
Does my story have a happy ending?
The only other interesting thing I can think to say
is that I've been going to the library again.
This most recent trip I was in the mood for a good fairy tale,
Ideas are nothing if not shared.
Thoughts trapped in books or frozen in cyberspace r useless
until they interact with an intelligence.
It is only at the coalface of critical thinking that concepts acquire
any sort of worth at all.
It is true that a thought in ur head will have an intrinsic value 2 u
n sadly, we so often feel that anything valued
should be kept n coveted.
But what we need 2 realise
is that a thought shared is not a thought spent -
As i m listening 2 some fabulous Nepali musics online n
Typing away my blog entry 4 2day...
Raju Lama's song entittled : Timilai Dhekhera
Just brighten up my day...
Aww...if only songs were so smooth...
The sound of the flute.. n etc..
Memories of Nepal comes flooding 2 my thoughts...
Like the himalayans n the warm,humble locals...
It starts making me nostalgic man!!
With Dashain n Tihar not very far,
I makes me wanna pack my luggage n
head off without doubt.
Y do we think we have so much control over everything!!?
I guess it’s just a natural inclination.
In psych, we learn that
a sense of control (real or imagined), decreases stress.
I can see the truth in that.
I have mastered the art of the controlled mess.
My obsessive-compulsive tendencies drive me 2
But sometimes I just need a mess.
So I allow myself a guilty pleasure—
a hamper of clothes at the end of my bed,
a pile of unread mail—
Being by the nature of my upbringing,
all my energies having been directed 2
1 channel of activity,
crippled from other activities
n made helpless even 2 live.
No cause is helpless if it is just.
deep inside us all that really suffers in ways
we would never permit an insect 2 suffer....
Never does one feel oneself so utterly helpless
as in trying to speak comfort
4 great bereavement.
I will not try it.
Time is the only comfort...
Gawd...this is awful,
I feel like someone had stabbed me 100 times with a knife...
I look like crap today.
I didnt even really look in the mirror this morning,
just threw on some clothes
n the results is i kind oflook slovenly.
Oh well, I should care more but I don't...
There r many things I should care more about
but I mainly feel avoidant towards
I am probably a psycho.
I wonder if the feelings are there,
just suppressed, or denied, or repressed,
waiting 2 bur
The World Vs Human
The Nepal's political Unstability, New outbreak of virus,
tremors by earthquakes, Oil, The market, China-Japan protest,
the list goes on n on.......
Rough times are always ard us.
What I have to say here is different.
That is, that despite the this war
n the things surrounding it will result in positives.
It already is on levels beyond the physical.
People r beginning 2 see that
needs 2 change in society in gener
Counting down the number of days
b4 the school holidays starts.
<That's finally when my students would b having their break!>
I'm exhausted n depressed.
I'm sleeping more n more each day.
I don't know whatever possesses me 2 do so
but I've been trying 2 cover pain n the depression 4 days now.
Myhead n back still hurt n
I'm beginning 2 think I really injured myself in that fall a week n a half ago.
I'm thinking it's t
"I'm on an ocean that has a brain n makes us dream.
I'm on a mission 2 wipe my imagination clean.
You grow inside me, dying time n time again.
I'm on a mission 2 escape from what my life has been."
If u know what that's abt, good 4 u .
Let's Get Political!
Ok 2day i was reading this article on some gals
being raped by the UN officers,
n some1 online mentioned 2 me that
they can just abort the babies...
Time 2 shake things up a little,
n really piss some peop
I cannot believe how totally time consuming teaching is.
I never imagined that it would take as long as it does.
4 the past week I have felt a little overwhelmed.
I had a student calling me Aunt
I was just about 2 fall off of my seat upon hearing that!!
**who was he calling Auntie!**
Usually all my students call me "Didi".
This is going to take a little bit of getting used 2!
Getting back 2 my life at home,
From today till the next month,
I'll be Home Alone
2day's A Very Special Day 2 Me..(21.05.2005)
This's 2 my Hubby.
Love u Always n 4ever..
If u left 2day,
I would walk an infinite spiral until I found u again.
N if u changed ur name,
I would fall in love anew with whoever u became.
I cannot remember the last time a thought sprang
Artemis-like, fully formed n complete from my mind.
Since I simply don't have the time 2 bring them all 2 term -
Nevertheless, I will acknowledge them where n when I can.
The dawning of the New Year
is a moment when we look 4ward with hope;
we make resolutions 2 improve ourselves,
2 change those weaknesses that
seem 2 make our lives more difficult than
they ought 2 be, or
2 change things that
our friends tell us makes us
disagreeable 2 be around.
When we make these resolutions,
we do it in the hope that
the problems of the year just ended
n that the year ahead
will be a period of health n
As i had told u earlier in my post,
i haven't been feeling well lately..
I was expecting the kids 2 be quite rowdy.
I don’t know y or how or who or what,
but something happened in the class today.
They were angles!
They listened, they worked, they were great!
Just when u think that u have sort of figured students out
they r well behaved, ,
but it was terribly serious n scary.
once again u have no idea what's going on in their heads.
The midterm environm
It's 10:46pm n 4 once I literally have no thoughts.
I feel much better today n nothing is really like bothering me.
Last entry I touched on a problem that had been plaguing me,
I'm not thinking of the situation anymore...
n that shock factor has more or less gone...
This entry will not be on details of the problem-
or the solution that arrived.
Instead I want 2 express the irony that I have come 2 learn.
They say that ur beliefs, attitude, outlook, etc
r a part of how y